Datang lagi « freedom.Of.choice

Datang lagi

Aloha…

Hari ni aku terjaga pukul 6.05AM. Aku terlepas sahur & sangat haus. What to do? Mata aku pedih yg amat setelah bangun mengejut dari tertidur selepas menonton Samurai Champloo. Banyak benda aku belajar dlm anime tu & sepanjang aku tgk cerita tu, aku sedar yg 3 org watak utama dlm cerita tu macam aku…secara simboliknya….lepas aku bangun & termenung kejap, aku sedar (lagi) aku rasa takut, bodoh, segan & bodoh lagi datang. Sekali lagi, aku rasa…sengal & maha bodoh. Keyword: ‘Originality’. Aku bercadang untuk mula titik baru….bila? …….soalan yg amik masa 2 tahun dah utk aku jawab…..30min yg lepas utk aku taip sekadar nak jawab – “bila?”. InsyaAllah aku akan cuba dlm masa yg sungguh dekat & singkat ni.

Aku dah benci tgk muka aku sendiri setiap kali aku bangun tidur. Kalau aku sendiri pun aku dah benci nak tgk, apatah lagi kalau aku nak tgk Z? Aku xsanggup tgk kebodohan aku sendiri yg aku bangga²kan sangat. Soul searching….2 tahun aku bazir….2 tahun aku puaskan nafsu kosong aku. Skang aku dah rasa sangat kosong. Aku rasa serba-salah utk letakkan harapan kat org lain. Macam² cara aku cari semangat/mood membina. Ternyata, aku ni penakut. Xlayak rasanya nak jadi org Melayu; jadi keluarga Sabtu. InsyaAllah, aku cuba beranikan diri.

now playing… Butterfingers – Kabus Ribut

Terima kasih sebab hasil lagu yg cukup bijak. Memori memori memori…

P/S: Aku terdetik nak menaip balik bila aku terbaca blog Afdlin Shauki & kenapa sampai skang aku xbrani nak order album² dia & byk lagi sebab…

~ by neosomosis on September 14, 2009.

Posted in Pain.Hate.Hatred

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Christopher Johnson McCandless (12 February 1968 – 18 August 1992)

After graduating from Emory in 1990, he gave his $25,000 life savings to the charity Oxfam International and began traveling across the country, using the name "Alexander Supertramp" (Krakauer mentions WH Davies who wrote 'Diary of a Super Tramp' close to a 100 years ago). McCandless made his way through Arizona, California, and South Dakota, where he worked at a grain elevator. McCandless alternated between relatively settled periods, in which he was fairly gregarious and often worked a job, and time spent living with no money and little or no human contact, sometimes foraging successfully for food in the wild. He survived several dangerous trials during these wilderness periods, such as losing his car in a flash flood and canoeing down remote stretches of the Colorado River down to the Gulf of California. McCandless took pride in surviving with a minimum of gear and funds, and generally made little preparation. For years, McCandless had dreamed of an "Alaskan Odyssey": he would live off the land, far away from civilization, and keep a journal describing his physical and spiritual progress as he faced the forces of nature. In April 1992 McCandless successfully hitchhiked to Fairbanks, Alaska. He was last seen alive by Jim Gallien, who gave him a ride from Fairbanks to the Stampede Trail. Gallien was concerned about "Alex", who had little gear and no experience in the Alaskan bush. Gallien tried to persuade Alex to defer his trip, and even offered to drive him to Anchorage to buy suitable equipment. McCandless refused all assistance except for a pair of rubber boots, two tuna melts, and a bag of corn chips. After hiking the Stampede Trail, McCandless found an abandoned bus used as a hunting shelter parked on an overgrown section of the trail near Denali National Park ( [show location on an interactive map] 63°51′36.13″N, 149°24′50.62″W)[2] and began his attempt to live off the land. He had a 10-pound bag of rice, a Remington semi-automatic rifle, with plenty of .22LR hollow-tip ammunition, a book of local plant life, several other books, and some camping equipment. He assumed that he could forage for plant food and hunt game. Despite his inexperience as a hunter, McCandless successfully poached some small game such as porcupines and birds. Once he successfully killed a moose; despite this success he failed to preserve all the surplus meat, rather than thinly slicing and air-drying the meat of the moose, as is usually done in the Alaskan bush, he unsuccessfully attempted to preserve it by smoking it, following the advice of hunters he had met in South Dakota.[3] His journal contains entries covering a total of 113 days. These entries range from ecstatic to grim with McCandless' changing fortunes. In July, after living successfully in the bus for several months, he decided to leave, but found the trail back blocked by the Teklanika River, which was then considerably higher than when he had crossed it in April. On September 6, 1992, two hikers and a group of moose hunters found this note on the door of the bus: "S.O.S. I need your help. I am injured, near death, and too weak to hike out of here. I am all alone, this is no joke. In the name of God, please remain to save me. I am out collecting berries close by and shall return this evening. Thank you, Chris McCandless. August?"[1] On August 12 he wrote what are assumed to be his final words in his journal "Beautiful Blueberries" He tore the final page from Louis L'Amour's memoir, Education of a Wandering Man with the words: "Death's a fierce meadowlark but to die having made Something more equal to centuries Than muscle and bone, is mostly to shed weakness. The mountains are dead stone, the people Admire or hate their stature, their insolent quietness, The mountains are not softened or troubled And a few dead men's thoughts have the same temper." On the other side of the page, McCandless added, "I HAVE HAD A HAPPY LIFE AND THANK THE LORD. GOODBYE AND MAY GOD BLESS ALL!" His body was found in his sleeping bag inside the bus, weighing just 67 pounds (30 kilograms). He had been dead for more than two weeks.